Jacob Kowalski is now CoG compatible.

His bio page has been updated with a dropdown concerning the movie and his role within it, as well as a new CoG based verse, which I will start running plots and plans for with anyone who has seen it.

I will refrain from spoiler related roleplay on the dash until December 1 out of courtesy to others who may not have the chance to see it right away. Spoilers on such roleplays will be tagged until January 1 for the same reason.

“Mister Abernathy” is now CoG compatible.

Home from Crimes of Grindelwald.

If you have seen the movie feel free to fly into my DM’s or hit up my ask box so I can poke you. What lays beneath the cut contains no spoilers – rather it is what I intend to do on the blog re: the film / some of my Thoughts and I want to be as careful as possible ^.^

I am going to the movie again on Sunday ( and again with my sister, though this time we are yoinking her boyfriend along for the ride ! ) and hopefully that will help me assemble my thoughts a bit more!

I will be figuring out film compatible verses for Jacob & Abernathy ( honestly the lads are fair easy actually and I mostly need to brain titles, so this may be done as early as tonight. )

I 100% Know My Plan re: Abernathy, as thankfully he is – very much Not Central, just like in the first film, and knowing the way his mind works and his motivations for shit makes creating CoG compatible verses a BREEZE and honestly I am thrilled. His performance was great though omg. I mean I know I use another FC for him, but he was cute as a button.

Jacob needs ahm. Well – lets just say I have some Headcanons and some Shit To Say but I intend to wait at least a week – and will also be using my spoiler tag bundle copiously cause I’ll be damned before I ruin anyones experience >: I am Shooketh Well though, shooketh most well indeed. Fucking captivating performance by Fogler though, augh! Absolutely delightful. I will, however, be doing some Divergences Cause Reasons ❤

As suspected I didn’t really draw anything out for Gellert ? So idk what Imma do there. That was not my son – a very engaging character though, I was thrilled? Its just not my lad who presently is vibrating like an angry chihuahua in the back of my head so that’s going to be Interesting To Sift Through. Like there were some things that were SO ON POINT I was like – yes, good shit, good shit! – and then other points I was like – jolted right out of the moment because it was Very Not MY Boy. But at the same time so good. A+ even if idk what I’m gonna do with it xD

I fucking loved Nagini to absolute pieces. I’ve actually written Nagini As An Animagus before and honestly I am very, very tempted to pick her up, though I may need to figure out my thoughts re: maledic–idk how to spell it wherps. The blood cursey thing. Claudia Kim though? Absolute genius, love her. She had such an emotionally provocative control over every scene she was in, I was completely captivated and so moved ;-;

So much in this film surprised and delighted me, and some of it wrecked me, and some of it had me like ‘ u h m ‘ and other parts had me like “Tumblr is gonna lose its collective hive mind.” so, that’s gonna be fun to watch xD Honestly though overall great experience! I have some work to do to adjust for it but not – nearly as much as I worried about ❤ I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE CHARACTERS I DONT WRITE AS THOUGH and that’s the wildest part imho xD

Also, just.

Nifflers.

Fuckin. Love. Nifflers. So much. I need like, 150. Maybe even 250. Best boys. Best boys.

severelysnapped:

Important Notices Re: Crimes of Grindelwald!

I am going to keep this short and blunt so that all the relevant information is quick and easily accessible. This post will be set into my queue to reblog itself once a day from now until Saturday – after that I will assume people know my stances / what is what on the subject.

My rules are updated re: the Fantastic Beasts franchise. This is a no negativity zone – full details can be found under the Fandom tab.

My stance regarding Gellert and any updates or disassembly can be found here.

I think I saw Mister Abernathy now has the first name of James. My Mister Abernathy shall remain Elias.

I have advanced tickets to see the movie at an early viewing on Thursday. I will be using the following tags for spoilers and placing everything under readmores – I will be making an active effort not to post anything revealing until December 1st, and will be using my tag bundle until January 1st.
fb cog spoilers; fbcog spoilers; cog spoilers; fantastic beasts crimes of grindelwald spoilers; fb crimes of grindelwald spoilers;

crimes of grindelwald spoilers.

Anyone who has seen the movie is eagerly welcome to chat me up after I have seen it on Thursday – please bear in mind my rules before doing so, as I am not a vent channel!

[repeatedly slapping you with a fish] WHAT WAS THAT

FUCK OFF MALAKH I LOVE YOU ya damn cryptid with too many eyes. Also what kind of fish is this and do you want me to cook it??

shit i say — sentence starters

twinsleft:

i decided to make a meme out of all the shit i say regularly. enjoy!
GENERAL SHIT.

❝ I’M GONNA MCFREAKING LOSE MY MIND. ❞

❝ I’m going to shove an entire baseball bat down my throat and smash my insides. ❞

❝ *aggressive finger guns* ❞

❝ *high pitched screeching* ❞

❝ That’s where you’re right, kiddo. ❞

❝ I AM THE ONE THAT WEIGHS A TON DON’T NEED A GUN—

❞

❝ HECK. ❞

❝ GOTTA FUCKING BLAST. ❞

❝ That’s my cue to blast outta here. ❞

❝ GOT ME MOTHERFUCKING MCSHOOK. ❞

❝ Thoroughly shooken. ❞

❝ LISTEN—

❞

❝ Trust me, I’m a professional. ❞

❝ I’m gonna throw myself off of a fucking bridge. ❞

❝ I’m convinced I was a cat in a past life. ❞

❝ Inject caffeine directly into my veins, please. ❞

❝ I literally have a ‘white people voice’ for when I’m being polite. ❞

❝ I sound like a fucking twelve year old. ❞

❝ I got a tiny ass head. It’s like a fucking golf ball. ❞

BITTER SHIT.

❝ _____ is the literal bane of my existence. ❞

❝ I hate you. …I’m kidding. ❞

❝ Yeah, well, he’s/she’s/they’re a manipulative cunt, so. ❞

❝ I’m gonna punch you in the fucking mouth. ❞

❝ I’m small and bitter like an espresso. ❞

❝ I am Denatonium benzoate, aka the most bitter substance on the planet. ❞

❝ *facepalm* ❞

❝ *frustrated groaning* ❞

❝ I hate _____ with every fiber of my being. ❞

❝ I will kick your fucking ass. ❞

❝ Don’t you fucking dare. ❞

❝ I get it, I’m fucking short. ❞

LOVEY SHIT.

❝ You mean a lot to me. Like, seriously, a fucking lot. ❞

❝ I do it because I love you. ❞

❝ *fondly* Fucking nerd. ❞

❝ *fondly* Dumbass. ❞

❝ You are my absolute favorite person. ❞

❝ *heart eyes* ❞

❝ Don’t even fucking think about leaving without giving me a hug. ❞

❝ *whining noises and grabby hands* ❞

❝ There he/she/they go(es), the love of my life. ❞

❝ It’s literally unfair how attractive he/she/they is/are. ❞

❝ Look at how pretty he/she/they is/are, I’m gonna fucking cry. ❞

❝ I just wanna smooch his/her/their face. ❞

❝ JUST LOOK AT HIM/HER/THEM! I’M GONNA SCREAM. ❞

MOM-FRIEND SHIT.

❝ I am mom-friend. ❞

❝ You best not be fucking texting and driving. ❞

❝ Do you want ____? ❞

❝ Please don’t do that, you’re worrying me. ❞

❝ Listen, my job is to make sure everyone else is okay. ❞

❝ ‘Drink water kids!’ I say as I am severely dehydrated. ❞

❝ ____, that’s not good. ❞

❝ Who do I have to fucking fight? ❞

ANGSTY SHIT.

❝ I hate myself with every fiber of my being. ❞

❝ I’m just really fucking scared. ❞

❝ I’m sorry that I love you. ❞

❝ I’m sorry that I’m like this. ❞

❝ What’s wrong with me? ❞

❝ God, this happens every fucking time. ❞

❝ I loved her/him/them. And she/he/they fucking abandoned me. ❞

❝ I don’t know what I’m doing. ❞

❝ Why the fuck am I crying? ❞

❝ I’m getting bad again. ❞

❝ It’s like everything goes in one ear, out the other with you. ❞

❝ I’ve told you time and fucking time again that it makes me feel like shit, and yet you still do it. ❞

❝ I look and feel like absolute shit. ❞

❝ It’s nothing, I’m fine. ❞

SLEEPY SHIT.

❝ I’m so fucking exhausted. ❞

❝ I really wanna just sleep. ❞

❝ I need to just sleep for like 17 years. ❞

❝ I could literally fall asleep anywhere. ❞

❝ I’m gonna pass out in the middle of the hallway. ❞

❝ I’m already fucking tired. ❞

❝ If I sit still in one place for like 30 minutes, I will fall asleep. ❞

❝ Can I just nap instead? ❞

ohisms:

* JOHN MULANEY ; THE COMEBACK KID.

_{❛ we’ve all gone too big too fast and then run out of the room. ❜}_{❛ block letters and cursive look good together! ❜}_{❛ yeah, but the past is the past. ❜}_{❛ i mean we’re all violent here, but you’re very friendly. ❜}_{❛ i don’t give off that vibe. ❜}_{❛ you could pour soup in my lap and i’ll probably apologize to you. ❜}_{❛ i’m so open and vulnerable. ❜}_{❛ i love saying “my wife”, it sounds so adult. ❜}_{❛ marriage is gonna be very magical. ❜}_{❛ ooh, who’s that fella? i bet he did kill his wife. ❜}_{❛ how could another person kill someone? ❜}_{❛ i’m not gonna do it, but i totally get it. ❜}_{❛ it’s creepy to have an ex out there after things have ended badly. ❜}_{❛ anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents has to die. ❜}_{❛ that’s not even a situation. ❜}_{❛ hey, you seen any loose milk? ❜}_{❛ i don’t know if you can tell that from the… everything about me. ❜}_{❛ … and a hush falls over the room. ❜}_{❛ isn’t it weird how that became a scandalous thing? ❜}_{❛ it was just some boring shit i had to do on weekends. ❜}_{❛ aw, she’s ugly! ❜}_{❛ wouldn’t you give like a million dollars to see that wedding video? ❜}_{❛ ‘cause you know how you lie to your parents? ❜}_{❛ what? huh? what? when? when? ❜}_{❛ let’s see, what problems can we solve? ❜}_{❛ that’s not how you talk. ❜}_{❛ let’s change it to trick ___. ❜}_{❛ it’s like having a baby that’s also a grandma. ❜}_{❛ oh, the things i have seen, you cocksucker. ❜}_{❛ ___ is my best friend in the world, i give her a million kisses a day. ❜}_{❛ you are no longer the alpha of the house. ❜}_{❛ look upon your sovereign, ___, and tremble! ❜}_{❛ it’s haunted, but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash. ❜}_{❛ i love real estate agents. i mean, they are the true heroes. ❜}_{❛ it was like hanging out with my mom. ❜}_{❛ they always have that ‘fun mom’ energy. ❜}_{❛ so, there’s no toilets. ❜}_{❛ well yeah, that’s how all of life works. ❜}_{❛ this is an on – fire garbage can. ❜}_{❛ this is an on – fire garbage can. could be a nursery. ❜}_{❛ sometimes babies will point at me, and i don’t care for that shit at all. ❜}_{❛ you’re never too young to learn our national no – snitching policy. ❜}_{❛ fell deadly silent, is what they all did. ❜}_{❛ no one wants to applaud the penis of a 32 – year old weirdo. ❜}_{❛ i had no supervision when i was a kid. ❜}_{❛ i grew up before children were special. ❜}_{❛ i’m so horny and angry all the time. ❜}_{❛ and i have no outlet for it, so… eggs. ❜}_{❛ i think emily dickinson’s a lesbian. ❜}_{❛ you can imagine the kind of stress that i’m under. ❜}_{❛ i’m telling you three weeks in advance. ❜}_{❛ that’s exactly what you won’t ask. ❜}_{❛ and then, he ordered one black coffee for himself, and kept driving. ❜}_{❛ in retrospect, that’s the funniest thing i’ve ever seen in my life. ❜}_{❛ what do you do to afford v-necks, ___? ❜}_{❛ ah, numbers. the letters of math. ❜}_{❛ no one look at me or i’ll kill myself. ❜}_{❛ thank you, no one will ever see me again! ❜}_{❛ who could she have been talking to? ❜}_{❛ i need you to believe me. ❜}_{❛ one feels like a duck when one is splashing around in all this wet! ❜}_{❛ i think about that every goddamn day. ❜}_{❛ that’s the wonderful thing about crazy people, you know? ❜}_{❛ eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs. ❜}_{❛ a very upsetting thing to hear, yes? ❜}_{❛ if you eat ass and suck enough dick, one day you can sell drugs. ❜}_{❛ one black coffee. same motherfucker. ❜}_{❛ my feet were not on the ground. ❜}_{❛ he never forgets a bitch, ever. ❜}_{❛ then it is revealed that she has NO hand. ❜}_{❛ you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclaire. ❜}

Permanent Starter Call Masterlist.

This is a permanent starter call for Cedric Diggory. By liking this post, you are letting me know that I can swing into your inbox at any time and yeet a Trio Era Muse in your general direction via memes, or maybe @ you with a sudden brainspiration starter! Consider this more like a permanent permission call letting me know that you’re interested in this particular gem in the vault!

This is a permanent starter call for Draco Malfoy. By liking this post, you are letting me know that I can swing into your inbox at any time and yeet a Trio Era Muse in your general direction via memes, or maybe @ you with a sudden brainspiration starter! Consider this more like a permanent permission call letting me know that you’re interested in this particular gem in the vault!