“ I guess that’s a good enough reason… Then again, I usually don’t expect people to be so curious as to what a snake has to say. I guess I could consider it a compliment, even. “
Of course, she lies through her teeth about such things. Though, one wouldn’t have much use talking to your average, garden variety snake… But the beloved possession of the DARK LORD, what stories and sights did she see whilst by his side.
“ Besides, it gets quite boring as a scaly thing when HE isn’t around… No one to talk to but the measly garden snakes that appear every so often. Which, are more drab than some of the meetings I’ve had to sit through… “
It had not been something he had considered before, the strangeness of her augmented existence. So frequently at the Dark Lord’s side, her mind expanded by knowledge beyond that natural for her species – how lonely it must be, to be unique.
“It cannot be easy for you,” He mused thoughtfully, “To go from such scintillating discourse to the daily life of one of your own. You’re neither human nor truly serpent anymore – a gift and curse both, I would imagine.”
He eyed her, then after some consideration, “The Dark Lord will return in good time – I can accompany you until then, should you wish for conversation.”
“ And why would it matter? Everyone suspects a snake, but not a human… Don’t tell me Severus is going to t a t t l e on me? “
Her thin brows lift, and she turns to look at him fully. Hair already done in it’s usual long braid, and face already hidden under that veil. Of course, it would be h i m to find out first. Granted, she never doubted his abilities to figure things out, it was why the DARK LORD trusted him…
Pale, slender hands lift up from under long sleeves to rest on her hips.
“ Besides… Why would y o u want to know? “
“I have no need to share a secret that does not benefit me. What use would it be to reveal that the serpent in our midst is more than she appears? The Dark Lord has his uses of you – I for one am not so foolish as to undermine those through loose lips.”
Severus was neither intimidated nor offended by Nagini’s behavior; what her motives and intentions were had very little to do with him, until such a time that it did. As with all things, after all.
“Idle curiosity, mostly. It’s not every day one without the Dark Lord’s particular gifts with linguistics can be glib with a snake, now is it?”
Severus eyed the shifting serpent unflinchingly. “Does it matter?” The inquiry was perfunctory at best and dismissive at worst; they both knew the only things of any consequence were that he knew – and what she would do about him having such knowledge. “How long will you be maintaining human guise this time?” His return question revealed he’d known long enough to be aware of her endeavors if nothing else.
Leaving the teapot to heat, Lily pursed her lips as she looked him over. He was right; without the blood, he looked better. Or at least looked more like himself. Fretting alleviate for a moment, she pressed a damp flannel to his eye. “There’s ice in there,” she told him, “so hold it there until the swelling goes down.” Letting out the breath she’d been holding, she was almost able to properly return his smile, but it was wobbly and less certain than his. Having had worse was a terrible excuse in her mind. Just because he could survive beatings didn’t make him having to any more bearable.
“Have you eaten today even? Do you feel up to it?” Food was her second coping mechanism for people in distress after holding them tight and trying to comfort the problem away. Considering how Severus had reacted to her earlier touch, she wasn’t certain that was a viable path at the moment.
Severus managed to battle down anything even remotely resembling a wince as cold cloth came into contact with his bruised eye, having little wish to reveal any further vulnerability when it was his role at the moment to keep himself together. It would hardly do anyone any good for him to fall apart now – and frankly he knew if he withered himself further, he may reveal too much.
Gripping the ice-filled flannel lightly, he kept it pressed up obediently as he eyed her, resisting the urge to flick a grin her way when she brought up food. He knew better than to reject or tease at this point and simply replied, “I imagine I could do with something light.” He wouldn’t be able to stomach anything too heavy, but he ought to be alright otherwise, and it might help Lly to relax a little. Honestly it wasn’t really so bad.
“Oh no – no you don’t – you do not get to die, not today!” Severus bowed over her fallen form, his wand already at work as he frantically scoured the grime from her flesh so that he could seal the wound. “Just hang on – come on, fight it! I know you’re tired, but just keep talking. Anything – tell me anything – but don’t you dare give up.”
She had a wedding to go to, a life to plan – it couldn’t end like this, on some pointless raid, some meaningless battle that did nothing more than fuel the ego of a single megalomaniac sparking fires in the hearts of prejudiced fools. She was Lily Evans – soon to be Lily Potter – and she was the brightest, stubbornest, most fantastic witch he knew. There was no way she would just give it all up. She had to fight – and if she couldn’t, then he’d fight for her.
“If you were looking for a sunny disposition I’m afraid you got tagged with the wrong partner,” The drawl lacked Severus’ usual bite when he was irritated, mainly due to the fact that Regulus was – for better or for worse – his comrade. If anything the sarcasm that was as dripping as the two of them seemed more leaning toward a pun than a fight. The point still stood though – Severus was hardly known for being all that sociable on the “best of days”.
It did give him pause though, to hear that Regulus was only here because he had to be. Severus glanced over, before deciding to attribute that sentiment to the weather. There was no telling what another’s loyalties really were, but it was always safest to assume ‘with the Dark Lord’ until proven undeniably otherwise. “I lost track of time at the last one,” He’d been rather preoccupied with that whole, pesky business of staying alive. “Any idea how long we have before our target lands?”
Temporary mortification at Lily’s sudden entry froze him before his brain kicked into gear and he snapped up his wand to summon a shirt, remarking briskly, “Knocking generally helps avoid things like this you know,” It was strange that she hadn’t knocked, come to think of it. Frowning as he tugged the shirt on, Severus eyed her, “Everything alright?”
He wasn’t fine, but she expected him to say he was. Stubborn, proud, determined to stand on his own and not need help, of course he’d insist he was fine, even as blood dripped into his eyes, even as his hands were stained red with it. Where was all this blood from? How terrible an accident it must have been, even for him, so used to brewing accidents, to be this shaken. She hadn’t heard of anything, but the MLE could be secretive and had been occupied with with the attack they had interrupted.
Stepping back from him, Lily forced her hands to her side. Agitated like this, her fussing and concern would only make it worse for him. She knew him well enough to be able to tell that. Instead Lily nodded, licking her lips. “All right. I’ll, I’ll make some tea, and get the bruise balm out. Clean up and then I’ll help you apply it.” She couldn’t leave him alone completely; that thrumming concern would never allow her. Even that restraint couldn’t last too long, her hand shifting to touch lightly at his arm. Then it fell away again with a soft sigh as she left him to clean up.
“You’re too good to me, you know that?” The words fell from smiling lips that belied the hollowness inside of him, the crippling awareness of how deeply true the seemingly lighthearted statement actually was. If she knew the truth – she’d never forgive him. Nor would he want her to.
He didn’t pull back when she reached out this time – unwilling to hurt her even as he swallowed down on his own painful realizations. There was no way out – no way that wouldn’t put him in a position of abject uselessness to all parties that mattered. So long as he stood loyal to the fold, he could fight beside his friends and be their shield. So long as he hid among the wolves, he could continue to warn the sheep from time to time. An anonymous tip there, a whispered word or camouflaged missive. It wasn’t much of a balance to the crimes, but it was at least something.
And by god, it kept him alive.
Washing up briskly, Severus watched the water run red, then clear, knowing he could banish it and yet, needing to acknowledge the stain on himself. The depth of his own ruin in red, as it were. He did take the time to spell his clothes clean once his hands were washed and do the same with his face, not much care toward the physical evidence of the struggle. He had deserved these blows and he would bear them properly.
Joining Lily in the kitchen, he offered her a slight smile as he took a seat and remarked, “See? Not so bad once it’s all cleared up. You know I’ve had worse,” He reminded the woman gently, hoping that it would ease her concerns a bit.
Of all the people to walk in on him after that damned fiasco masquerading itself as a ‘raid’ – Lily was the one person he truly wished it hadn’t been. She had seen him in the wake of rows with his dad so many times, but this was different. She’d never seen him after a wizarding brawl and she had certainly never seen him with his hands stained from another man’s blood.
The cuts and bruises on his face were well earned, the final acts of a desperate man. Her hands weren’t a balm this time, their soft and familiar care scalding his conscience enough that he reared away from her and held his hands up, red as they were, to stave her off.
“I’m fine Lily,” The words were rough, because he didn’t feel fine. Thinking back on that fight, on his own viciousness, he felt dangerously out of place beside her. He’d enjoyed that battle, and though the screams of innocent bystanders had tormented his ears he had survived the raid as he had each one before it, by maintaining his focus on the one person in it that he could hurt. An auror with a truly wicked temper, a sadistic tendency he used his position as a camoflauge for. He’d have made a great Death Eater, with his sick personality.
Severus didn’t regret killing him. Damn his hands, he had relished it. And now, now Lily was standing there, worried over him. The grim survivor of a raid gone wrong – horribly, horribly wrong. He didn’t even know who all was dead. The Dark Lord would call for them tonight, and they’d all pay for mucking this one up. Severus would get a good brunt of it, for ignoring damage control the way he had. He’d give them an impossible task to prove themselves, presuming he didn’t wipe them off the playing field.
Talk about your high risk, no benefit occupations. Death Eater was not an option he would recommend to anyone with a brain, that was for sure. Ah, but then again hindsight did have a propensity for being perfect.
“There was an accident at work,” He wasn’t technically lying; he did see being a Death Eater as more of a job than an act of loyalty at this point. A means to continued survival, and all that fun. “Jones got hurt pretty bad,” That, at least, would explain the blood on his hands. In truth, he was pretty certain Jones was dead. “Just – give me a minute to clean up, yeah? I promise – I’m okay.” His voice was low, reassuring and firm to keep her from worrying. The last thing he deserved at this moment was her concern.
☁ = being caught in the middle a storm with them }
Bad enough they were stuck on a long wait between their next raid, immediately following the last. Severus was still sporting some damage from the few cutting curses that had managed to land on him and his mood was downright foul as a result, even without the blasted heavens opening up to dump all over them.
“Well this is fantastic,” The words were scathing as he huddled further into the enclave of their hideaway. “Don’t suppose you want to skip out on this one?” It was a jest of course. Severus wasn’t stupid enough to actually leave in the midst of coordinated attack plans, but pinning his displeasure on the weather was better than making it known how much he really didn’t want to be doing this. “You alright?” After some thought it occured to him Regulus might have taken some damage as well; they had time, so they may as well make use of it to recover. Not much else to do when the world was pissing on the Dark Lord’s parade in any case.
Severely Archived 